How Do I Know How I Am Doing?

A friend of mine asked a really good question:

Someone asked me this week "how can I know if God is really happy with who I am and what I am doing in life?" and I've been thinking a lot about that. I talked to her about Helaman 10:2-5 because it came to mind, and about the power of prayer and being able to recieve guidance from God. But I've also been thinking about that. There's a big difference between doing good things, and doing what God wants, and I was just wondering what you thought about that. How can one know if they're really following the will of God in their lives? 

This is a topic worthy of careful consideration. Here is what I answered:

Your question is good. Many people struggle throughout life to know how to measure their standing in life and with God. The world suggests externally measurable indicators of ones worth. Things like positions at work or in the church, salary, degrees, physical fitness accomplishments, being on winning teams, etc. These can all be good things, but when we set up measures of our ability to compete with others as our metric of self-worth we will be disappointed. We create enmity with others when we are focused on winning in order to feel good about ourself.

I like your suggestion of Nephi in Helaman 10 as a good example. His sense of self-worth came from the Lord’s acceptance of Nephi’s life and service to others. Notice that key idea. Nephi did not seek his own life, he sought God’s will and to keep God’s commandments. In other words, Nephi’s life is an example of the Savior’s teaching in Matthew 16:

24 ¶ Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? … 

Understanding God’s commandments can be a challenge. You asked about the difference between doing good and doing what God wants. It seems to me that it is easy to get caught up in lists of things to do as a measure of doing good. For example, missionaries have many, many rules to guide them. It is possible to mistake the lists of rules for God’s commandments. Then, it may be disappointing to find that, despite not breaking the rules, you are not feeling success as a missionary. Good missionaries generally live by the rules, but keeping the rules does not necessarily make you a good missionary. This is the same in life after a mission. People can get caught up in rules. We make lists of things to do and confuse the list with righteousness. For example: read scriptures every day; attend the temple every week or month; complete a four generation family tree; write in a journal every day; pray morning, noon, night, at meals, with the family, and more; etc. These are all good things. But, going through the motions is not the same as being righteous.

Consider scripture study as an example. When we read the scriptures as a task on a “to do” list, we may, or may not, feel the spirit and learn from the scriptures. And, when we miss a day we get down on ourselves. It is possible to read every day and not get the real benefit. When we read because we hear the voice of the Lord through the scriptures, then we learn and draw closer to God. Would you rather read every day and not get any closer to God, or would you rather hear the voice of God through the scriptures even if you miss a day here or there? Honestly, I don’t know if there has ever been a time when I have read every day consistently. But, I have always loved the scriptures. When I read, I feel closer to God, I hear His voice, and I learn. Sometimes I study intently one day and then ponder for a day or two before reading and studying more. The point is that if you love God, and draw closer through the scriptures, you will read them effectively. If you read the scriptures as a task list item, you might never get closer to God. It is getting closer to God that is the measure of success, not the frequency or duration of scripture study.

John gives a great insight into what it means to obey the commandments of Jesus Christ. In 1 John 3:

16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.
24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

Our standing with God is not measured in competition with others, it is measured by service to others. And, when we love and serve others we have confidence toward God. Confidence that we are obeying His commandments comes from the recognition that we have His Spirit in us. These verses suggest that the sacrament ordinance is the key to knowing that God is happy with us. We know because we have His Spirit with us. We don’t need a visible calling to serve others, we serve as guided by the Spirit. We don’t need a task list, or accomplishment list, or any other external measure, if we have the Spirit and love for others to guide us.

One last idea. In Helaman 10:5 Nephi receives a promise from God that he will be blessed forever. This is Nephi having his calling and election made sure. Peter gives an important insight into how Nephi, and all of us, can receive this promise from God. In 2 Peter 1:

5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

Notice that in verse 10 is the admonition to make your calling and election sure. How is it made sure? You do the things that Peter has listed, then the Lord will promise you that you will never fall, or in other words, you will be blessed forever like Nephi. Peter gives a list of attributes. This is not a task list. Rather, it is a list of the attributes of a true follower of Christ. We can pray and ask for help to develop these traits. We can study them to understand what they are and why they are in the sequence that Peter has listed. We can know that we are pleasing God as we receive God’s help in developing into this kind of person. Notice that this is the same list as in D&C 4:6. These are the essential attributes of a servant of Jesus Christ.

John, Peter, and Joseph Smith all teach the same thing. As we develop charity, pure love, we gain confidence toward God, become like Christ, and have His Spirit with us. This is how we know our standing with God and become blessed forever.

Obedience

Obedience to God's word is a fundamental expectation for followers of Jesus Christ. Baptism is an ordinance whereby we declare our intention to obey the commandments of God. When we partake of the sacrament we renew our commitment to obey His commandments. We also understand that we covenanted to be obedient to the law of God while in the pre-mortal world.

While this short blog post will not even come close to covering all that could be said about obedience, I recently found something that helps me to understand what the law is that I have covenanted to obey and to see how that fits in to my journey back to God's presence.

Consider the following verses in D&C 88:

  11 And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understandings;
  12 Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space—
  13 The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed, even the power of God who sitteth upon his throne, who is in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things [emphasis added].

Notice that the light of Christ is described as the law of God. Thus, one of the most basic interpretations of my covenant to obey God is that I will follow the light of Christ. Consider this idea in connection with these verses from D&C 84:

  44 For you shall live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God.
  45 For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ.
  46 And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.
  47 And every one that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto God, even the Father.
  48 And the Father teacheth him of the covenant which he has renewed and confirmed upon you, which is confirmed upon you for your sakes, and not for your sakes only, but for the sake of the whole world.

We are told to live by (obey) every word that proceeds forth from God. And, that those words are the same as the light or Spirit of Jesus Christ. In essence, we are to obey the word of God, which is the light of Christ and which is the law of God. And, when we hearken to (obey) the light of Christ we are enlightened and come unto God the Father. The result of being brought to God the Father is that he teaches us of the covenant and confirms it upon us. This is echoed in D&C 88: 78 where the Lord explains that we are to "be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand [emphasis added];"

Every person ever born into this world is given the light or Spirit of Jesus Christ, which is the law of God. Every person who obeys the Spirit of Jesus Christ is enlightened and brought to the Father to be taught about the covenant, or law of the Gospel. What a blessing to have this assurance that every one of us is born with the gift of the first steps on the path back to God's presence so readily available.

Better to Obey ...

I came across a very interesting quote from Brigham Young (JD 8:12-13, March 5, 1860). I think of this as a discussion of "Type I" and "Type II" errors in obedience. When we take it upon ourselves to determine which beggar needs our help or which direction from a church authority is actually from God (thus, meriting obedience) we may make two kinds of mistakes: doing what we should when we should not, or not doing what we should when we should. Brigham was speaking in the context of people questioning some things he does or directs. It is evident that he has a good reason for what he is doing. It is also evident that what he is doing is within his stewardship. Here is the quote:

I have very little to say to men who are dissatisfied with my course, or with the course of my brethren. Some have wished me to explain why we built an adobie wall around city. Are there any Saints who stumble at such things? Oh, slow of heart to understand and believe. I build walls, dig ditches, make bridges, and do a great amount and variety of labour that is of but little consequence only to provide ways and means for sustaining and preserving the destitute. I annually expend hundreds and thousands of dollars almost solely to furnish employment to those in want of labour. Why? I have potatoes, flour, beef, and other articles of food, which I wish my brethren to have; and it is better for them to labour for those articles, so far as they are able and have opportunity, than to have them given to them. They work, and I deal out provisions, often when the work does not profit me.

When a man begins to find fault, inquiring in regard to this, that, and the other, saying, "Does this or that look as though the Lord dictated it?" you may know that that person has more or less of the spirit of apostasy. Every man in this kingdom, or upon the face of the earth, who is seeking with all his heart to save himself, has as much to do as he can conveniently attend to, without calling in question that which does not belong to him. If he succeeds in saving himself, it has well occupied his time and attention. See to it that you are right yourselves; see that sins and folly do not manifest themselves with the rising sun. I repeat that it is as much as any one can well do to take care of himself by performing every duty that pertains to his temporal and eternal welfare.

Suppose that in this community there are ten beggars who beg from door to door for something to eat, and that nine of them are impostors who beg to escape work, and with an evil heart practise imposition upon the generous and sympathetic, and that only one of the ten who visit your doors is worthy of your bounty; which is best, to give food to the ten, to make sure of helping the truly needy one, or to repulse the ten because you do not know which is the worthy one? You will all say, Administer charitable gifts to the ten, rather than turn away the only truly worthy and truly needy person among them. If you do this, it will make no difference in your blessings, whether you administer to worthy or unworthy persons, inasmuch as you give alms with a single eye to assist the truly needy.

Again: Suppose that you are required to do ten pieces of work, but of the ten only one is necessary for the promotion of the kingdom of God; which had you better do - perform the ten pieces of labour, to be sure of doing the right piece, or neglect the whole ten because you do not know which the right one is? Had you not better do the whole ten pieces, that you may be sure of performing that which the Lord does really require at your hands?

First, believe in the Lord God Almighty, in his Son Jesus Christ, and in his Prophets that he sent in days of old; then believe in Joseph Smith, and do the works of the Father, before you question what I dictate to this people.

This seems worthy of very careful thought. It may apply in more circumstances that just what Brigham was discussing. Maybe we need to better honor the agency and stewardship of those who are called to positions of responsibility. At the least, this quote gives reason for caution and selective generosity or selective obedience.