How Do I Know How I Am Doing?

A friend of mine asked a really good question:

Someone asked me this week "how can I know if God is really happy with who I am and what I am doing in life?" and I've been thinking a lot about that. I talked to her about Helaman 10:2-5 because it came to mind, and about the power of prayer and being able to recieve guidance from God. But I've also been thinking about that. There's a big difference between doing good things, and doing what God wants, and I was just wondering what you thought about that. How can one know if they're really following the will of God in their lives? 

This is a topic worthy of careful consideration. Here is what I answered:

Your question is good. Many people struggle throughout life to know how to measure their standing in life and with God. The world suggests externally measurable indicators of ones worth. Things like positions at work or in the church, salary, degrees, physical fitness accomplishments, being on winning teams, etc. These can all be good things, but when we set up measures of our ability to compete with others as our metric of self-worth we will be disappointed. We create enmity with others when we are focused on winning in order to feel good about ourself.

I like your suggestion of Nephi in Helaman 10 as a good example. His sense of self-worth came from the Lord’s acceptance of Nephi’s life and service to others. Notice that key idea. Nephi did not seek his own life, he sought God’s will and to keep God’s commandments. In other words, Nephi’s life is an example of the Savior’s teaching in Matthew 16:

24 ¶ Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? … 

Understanding God’s commandments can be a challenge. You asked about the difference between doing good and doing what God wants. It seems to me that it is easy to get caught up in lists of things to do as a measure of doing good. For example, missionaries have many, many rules to guide them. It is possible to mistake the lists of rules for God’s commandments. Then, it may be disappointing to find that, despite not breaking the rules, you are not feeling success as a missionary. Good missionaries generally live by the rules, but keeping the rules does not necessarily make you a good missionary. This is the same in life after a mission. People can get caught up in rules. We make lists of things to do and confuse the list with righteousness. For example: read scriptures every day; attend the temple every week or month; complete a four generation family tree; write in a journal every day; pray morning, noon, night, at meals, with the family, and more; etc. These are all good things. But, going through the motions is not the same as being righteous.

Consider scripture study as an example. When we read the scriptures as a task on a “to do” list, we may, or may not, feel the spirit and learn from the scriptures. And, when we miss a day we get down on ourselves. It is possible to read every day and not get the real benefit. When we read because we hear the voice of the Lord through the scriptures, then we learn and draw closer to God. Would you rather read every day and not get any closer to God, or would you rather hear the voice of God through the scriptures even if you miss a day here or there? Honestly, I don’t know if there has ever been a time when I have read every day consistently. But, I have always loved the scriptures. When I read, I feel closer to God, I hear His voice, and I learn. Sometimes I study intently one day and then ponder for a day or two before reading and studying more. The point is that if you love God, and draw closer through the scriptures, you will read them effectively. If you read the scriptures as a task list item, you might never get closer to God. It is getting closer to God that is the measure of success, not the frequency or duration of scripture study.

John gives a great insight into what it means to obey the commandments of Jesus Christ. In 1 John 3:

16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.
24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

Our standing with God is not measured in competition with others, it is measured by service to others. And, when we love and serve others we have confidence toward God. Confidence that we are obeying His commandments comes from the recognition that we have His Spirit in us. These verses suggest that the sacrament ordinance is the key to knowing that God is happy with us. We know because we have His Spirit with us. We don’t need a visible calling to serve others, we serve as guided by the Spirit. We don’t need a task list, or accomplishment list, or any other external measure, if we have the Spirit and love for others to guide us.

One last idea. In Helaman 10:5 Nephi receives a promise from God that he will be blessed forever. This is Nephi having his calling and election made sure. Peter gives an important insight into how Nephi, and all of us, can receive this promise from God. In 2 Peter 1:

5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

Notice that in verse 10 is the admonition to make your calling and election sure. How is it made sure? You do the things that Peter has listed, then the Lord will promise you that you will never fall, or in other words, you will be blessed forever like Nephi. Peter gives a list of attributes. This is not a task list. Rather, it is a list of the attributes of a true follower of Christ. We can pray and ask for help to develop these traits. We can study them to understand what they are and why they are in the sequence that Peter has listed. We can know that we are pleasing God as we receive God’s help in developing into this kind of person. Notice that this is the same list as in D&C 4:6. These are the essential attributes of a servant of Jesus Christ.

John, Peter, and Joseph Smith all teach the same thing. As we develop charity, pure love, we gain confidence toward God, become like Christ, and have His Spirit with us. This is how we know our standing with God and become blessed forever.

Don't Miss the Real Point

It is possible to be very busy trying to do all the right things and, yet, to miss the real point of what we are in mortality to do. We can read the scriptures, diligently, every day. We can attend our meetings every week, without fail. We can be excellent and reliable in our callings. We can participate in the temple on a very regular basis. And, yet, we can still not feel the joy of the Gospel. We may even feel sad and discouraged that we are not doing more of what we tell ourselves we must do.

Remember the question to Jesus about the greatest commandment? His answer, recorded in Matthew 22, is:

  37 ... Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
  38 This is the first and great commandment.
  39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
  40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

It is easy to get caught up in all the things that we tend to treat as if they were a "law" to us. When it comes right down to it, though, all of the things that we do should be for the purpose of coming to love God and others better.

Consider scripture study. Speaking of the words given through His prophet, the Lord tell us in D&C 18:

  34 These words are not of men nor of man, but of me; wherefore, you shall testify they are of me and not of man;
  35 For it is my voice which speaketh them unto you; for they are given by my Spirit unto you, and by my power you can read them one to another; and save it were by my power you could not have them;
  36 Wherefore, you can testify that you have heard my voice, and know my words.

The Lord has assured us that we can hear His voice and come to know Him as we search the scriptures and receive inspiration and revelation through the power of the Holy Ghost.

In addition, we come to know the Lord through the temple. Shortly after the dedication of the Kirtland temple, the Lord appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery and said, in D&C 110:

  7 For behold, I have accepted this house, and my name shall be here; and I will manifest myself to my people in mercy in this house.

We have these wonderful assurances that we can come to know God through the scriptures and the temple. When we come to know Him, we realize how deeply He loves us. And, "We love him, because he first loved us." (1 John 4: 19)

When we come to know God we inevitably feel His love for us. His love transforms us and teaches us how to love others. This is the process by which we become possessed of Charity. Recall Moroni 7:

  47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Notice the grammar. Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is not clear whether charity is Christ's love for us, our love for Christ, or our Christ-like love for others. In fact, though, it may be all three. We come to know Christ through prayer, scripture study, temple worship, serving others, etc. When we come to know Him, we feel his pure love. We feel our sins forgiven and our hearts changed through the power of the atonement. Then we are possessed of that aspect of charity that is His pure love for us. Then we love Him because He first loved us. And, we are possessed of the aspect of charity that is our pure love for Christ. Finally, I believe that an essential consequence of genuinely coming to know God is that we love others in a more pure manner. Thus, we learn to be possessed of that aspect of charity that is the Christ-like love for others.

What a shame it would be to be busy doing good things but to miss the point. The point is to know God and to be transformed by His love. Then, we have peace and can love others in a manner that will bring them to Christ. We don't have to do everything that is on everyones list of good things to do. All we need to do is know and love God and love His children. At the end of the day ask yourself, "Have I shared the pure love of Christ with somebody today." If you have, then sleep well in His peace.

Jesus Christ and Love

I would like to share a few thoughts about the purpose of mortality and the role of Jesus Christ in our journey through mortality. Of course, this will not be a comprehensive coverage, just a few basic ideas strung together in a way that I hope may be helpful.

Our Purpose

Our existence predates mortality when we lived as spirit beings in the presence of God. We came from God’s presence and we belong in God’s presence. I cannot believe that we would have accepted the experience of mortality without a good understanding that in passing through the veil of forgetfulness, there would be a way back.

We understand that, through the fall of mankind, there is a need for a Savior. Paul expressed it in this simple phrase in 1 Corinthians 15:

  22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

It seems easier to understand how all participate in death through Adam then to understand the part about being made alive in Christ. Adam and Eve fell and became subject to death. Thus, all of their children, us, became subject to death. Somehow, through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection we all will rise from death. We do not understand the mechanism now, but the day will come when we will see that it is true. We will see that because of Jesus’ resurrection, we will all resurrect. 

There is a purpose to our journey in mortality. We find in Moses 6:

  55 And the Lord spake unto Adam, saying: Inasmuch as thy children are conceived in sin, even so when they begin to grow up, sin conceiveth in their hearts, and they taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good.

We came into mortality understanding that we would taste the bitterness of sin, pain, disappointment, and failure. We did not come here to sin. Rather, we came into mortality knowing that sin and heartache would be part of our experience. I think we were much like a missionary who has been called but not yet departed. The missionary knows in some intellectual sense that the mission will be hard. But, it is only in the experience that the learning takes place. We have chosen to experience the bitter in mortality as part of our learning to prize the good. We knew that, in some ways, parents, friends, church members or leaders, and others would fail us. We knew that we would fall prey to the lies of the adversary and fall into sin. And, we knew that a Savior would be provided so that we could recover from these experiences and learn from them.

Lehi taught these ideas to his family when he said in 2 Nephi 2:

  25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

From the Fall Comes Joy

The most remarkable thing about the fall is that, despite sin and sorrow, it is actually the source of joy in life. Adam and Eve explained this in Moses 5:

  10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

  11 And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

How do we have joy in this life? The answer is repentance. There are many possible definitions of repentance that have been discussed over the years. But, the scriptures give a definition that is very encouraging.  

When giving the brass plates, and other records, to his son, Alma described the value of scriptures. He says to Helaman in Alma 37:

 9 Yea, I say unto you, were it not for these things that these records do contain, which are on these plates, Ammon and his brethren could not have convinced so many thousands of the Lamanites of the incorrect tradition of their fathers; yea, these records and their words brought them unto repentance; that is, they brought them to the knowledge of the Lord their God, and to rejoice in Jesus Christ their Redeemer.

Notice the effect of the records, they convince people of the incorrect traditions of their fathers. Or, as Alma expressed in verse 8, the scriptures (which contain the words of Christ) convince us of the error of our ways. Alma says that when we see the error of our ways, or the incorrect traditions of our fathers, we are brought to repentance. Notice that verse nine says “repentance; that is ...” so that what comes next is a definition of repentance. And, the definition of repentance is to gain knowledge of the Lord our God and to rejoice in Jesus Christ our Redeemer. Thus, repentance is coming to a knowledge of God which causes us to rejoice in Jesus Christ as our Redeemer. 

When we learn that something in our life is in error, or an incorrect tradition, we change. In that moment of recognition we have repented. The repentance is both a cause and a consequence of learning more about God. And, Jesus Christ is the source of redemption and strength to make the change we see is necessary. That brings joy.

I had a sacred experience in the temple that taught be something about the bitterness of sin and the joy of repentance. As the endowment session began, I found my mind filled with all of the weakness, sin, mistakes and failures of my life. It was discouraging and caused me to feel lost and hopeless. I could not quite understand why these things were flooding in to my mind. As I felt ready to give up any hope of being clean and worthy to return to God a thought occurred to me. I felt that I should be patient and watch what was being presented. I looked up and realized that we were to the point in the creation story where Adam and Eve had fallen and were being cast out of God’s presence. I realized that they were the prototype of what I was feeling. And, as the rest of the endowment was presented I realized that I was being taught the path back to God’s presence. I realized that it was in, and through, Jesus Christ that my sins could be forgiven and that I could return to God. By the end of the endowment session I was filled with hope and with the love of God. I knew my sins were forgiven.

In this experience I came to know for myself the truth of what is taught in Ether 12:

  27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Learn Through the Spirit of Jesus Christ

So, how do we learn about Jesus Christ and find our way back to God? It starts with the Spirit of Christ that is given to every person ever born into mortality. We read in D&C 84:

  45 For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

  46 And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.

  47 And every one that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto God, even the Father.

Notice that the Spirit of Jesus Christ is truth, light and the word of the Lord to us. It gives light to everyone but only enlightens those who hearken to the Spirit of Christ. As taught in Moroni 7, the Spirit, or Light, of Christ is the means of knowing good from evil. Everything that brings feelings of peace, joy, belief in Christ and love is from Jesus Christ and is of God. When we feel fear, loneliness, contention and a lack of belief, it is from the adversary. This sounds so simple, and yet it is the way the Lord has given us to find the truth and the messengers that God has promised to us so that we can find our way back to Him. The Spirit is all around us. All you have to do is listen. 

Learn Through Messengers

The Spirit of Christ will help us to identify the true servants of the Lord who are sent to teach and guide us. True messengers teach us how to approach the Lord ourselves. They do not stand between us and God. Rather, they teach us how to approach God and receive our own revelation. Notice these key verses from the oath and covenant of the priesthood in D&C 84:

  36 For he that receiveth my servants receiveth me;

  37 And he that receiveth me receiveth my Father;

  38 And he that receiveth my Father receiveth my Father’s kingdom; therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.

The Spirit of Jesus Christ helps us to recognize the Lord’s servants and to follow their teachings. Through that we come to Jesus Christ and receive the Holy Ghost.

Sacrifice Leads to the Holy Ghost

When we come to an awareness of our fallen state we experience a broken heart. Our heart is broken by the recognition that our sins and weakness would forever keep us separated from God. We realize that we cannot merit salvation based on our own effort. No matter how hard we try to obey commandments, we come up short. With that broken heart our spirit become contrite and we come to Jesus Christ through baptism. The consequence of the decision to repent and be baptized is receiving the Holy Ghost. A great example of the Holy Ghost in action is in 3 Ne 9:

  20 And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost, even as the Lamanites, because of their faith in me at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.

It gives me hope to know that these Lamanites had a remarkable experience and yet did not realize that they had been baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost. We, too, can be baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost and not realize it. We must actively seek to know about the work of the Holy Ghost in our lives. 

Agency is Always Honored

God will not force knowledge upon us. He gave us our agency and He honors that agency. He waits for us to desire learning and revelation enough to ask and seek for it. As we read in Matt 7 (JST):

  7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

  17 What man among you, having a son, and he shall be standing out, and shall say, Father, open thy house that I may come in and sup with thee, will not say, Come in, my son; for mine is thine, and thine is mine?

The Lord commands us to ask, seek and knock. In order to help us understand, he gives us a comparison to a mortal father who would respond to his son’s plea for help. How much more, then, can we trust our Eternal Father to respond when we ask?

Examples of Asking

The scriptures give several examples of the type of questions we might bring to God. For example,

Lamoni’s father asked “... if there is a God ... wilt thou make thyself known to me?”

Alma cried out “O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me ...”

Benjamin’s people prayed “O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins and our hearts may be purified.”

And, in further instruction to us, we are told in D&C 18:18 to “Ask the Father in my name, in faith believing that you shall receive, and you shall have the Holy Ghost, which manifesteth all things which are expedient unto the children of men.”

Thus, we can pray to know that God is there. We can pray for the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. We can pray to know that our sins are forgiven. And, we can pray to receive the Holy Ghost and to know all things that the Lord would have us know.

Maybe one of the greatest things we can pray for is love. In Moroni 7: 48 we are told, “Wherefore, ... pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ ... “ As we come to know Christ we will, inevitably, be filled with His love. 

A few years ago I came to the realization that I knew about Jesus Christ, but that I did not know Him. I could tell the Sunday School stories and describe His mission. But, I did not feel the love and appreciation that I knew I should. So, I began to pray to know Jesus Christ in a personal way. I searched the scriptures for stories that would help me to know Jesus Christ. And, the Holy Ghost began to testify to me of Christ through the stories and teachings in the scriptures.

One day I approached the temple with a prayer to better know Christ. There is a promise in D&C 110 that He will manifest Himself in mercy to His people in the temple. And, in a great tender mercy, I received a very clear and sure witness, through the Holy Ghost, during the presentation of one of the symbols that is surely linked to Jesus Christ, of His reality and His love for me. I was overwhelmed by the power of the spiritual witness in that experience in the temple.

The next day I went up into Rock Canyon to pray and ponder on what I had felt. And, while praying about the experience in the temple I was surrounded by a warmth and love that is more powerful than I had ever felt. I now know the reality of Jesus Christ, His power to forgive sin, His love for me, and His ability to teach me to love.

Love

The influence of Jesus Christ is love. As John said in 1 John 4:19, “We love him, because he first loved us.” And, because of His love for us, we learn how to love one another. Paul taught us about how to treat each other in Eph 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” The surest evidence of the power of Jesus Christ is in the love that we can share with each other. After all, we are, by nature, not always the most loving people. When we are patient, forgiving, and loving with each other, we are experiencing the pure influence of Jesus Christ. 

I really like this summary in 1 John 3:18-24, “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. ... Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.”

In mortality we learn that we are loved by God, even though we have not earned it. We should love others, even though they have not earned it.