Choose Your Love; Love Your Choice.

In the recent General Conference, President Thomas Monson spoke in priesthood session about marriage. He spoke of the sadness associated with canceling so many temple sealings. In this context, one particular piece of counsel struck me as quite important.  He said:

Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, “Choose your love; love your choice.” There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential.

I have pondered on the principles that relate to this direction from President Monson.  There are two key principles that seem quite important.  The first is that we need to trust the priesthood power by which we are sealed in marriage.  The second is the nature of the effort required of us to be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise.

First, trusting the Lord's promises.  We act in faith when we believe the word of God and do as He has instructed (see previous post on faith and belief for more on this).  In Moses 4, God said,

  30 For as I, the Lord God, liveth, even so my words cannot return void, for as they go forth out of my mouth they must be fulfilled.

It is truly an act of faith to trust what God has promised and live as if what He has given is already ours. In addition, we must trust the promises that come through God's servants.  As the Lord said in D&C 1,

  38 What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.

Think about how this applies to marriage in the temple.  Many of us feel that we are guided by the Spirit as we decide who to marry.  Even if we don't feel that we sought, or received, a private witness of the Spirit before marrying in the temple, we have a promise made by a servant of God through the sealing power of the Melchizedek priesthood.  While kneeling at the alter across from one another, a servant of God seals upon us the promise of an eternal marriage.  That promise now belongs to the wife and husband who enter this covenant relationship.  It is not just a woman covenanting with a man, and a man covenanting with a woman.  It is more, even, than a man and woman agreeing to a covenant relationship to each other and toward God.  It is a covenant relationship that includes God's promise to do His part to make the eternal marriage happen.  He knows that we will stumble and struggle along the way.  But, because of the priesthood authority that seals a couple together, we can trust that God will provide the way to overcome any struggle, stumble or obstacle that a couple faces together.

Consider the detailed description of eternal marriage in D&C 132:

  19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

What a remarkable promise!  And, it is ours through the power of the priesthood when we marry in the temple under proper authority.  It is a promise, spoken by a servant of God, that is as valid and reliable as if God had pronounced it upon us Himself.  It requires real faith and trust, though, to realize this promise.

I can't help but think of this idea in terms of my finance training.  The promises in D&C 132: 19 are like an asset on our balance sheet as soon as we make our marriage covenants.  We also have a liability on our balance sheet.  The liability is to live in such a way that the promises become realized.  When we have done and become what is necessary to be an eternally married couple, then the liability is discharged and the asset is declared ours through the Holy Spirit of Promise.  The promise of eternal marriage becomes the reality of eternal marriage!

The second principle relates to what is required of us.  There is a strong suggestion of what we must do to make the promise into a reality of eternal marriage.  In D&C 132: 19 are the words, "they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things ... "  Compare these words to a statement made by Brigham Young:

“Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1941], p. 416).

It seems that it is in keeping all the ordinances in the house of the Lord that we become prepared to realize the promises of exaltation, eternal life and, in particular, eternal marriage.  Consider some possible implications of this in marriage.

Clearly, we will need to be obedient to the word of God.  Personal worthiness is a prerequisite to all of God's offered blessings.  In addition, though, it is quite likely that sacrifice will be needed in a successful marriage.  There may be preconceptions, personal quirks, maybe even hopes or dreams that will have to be sacrificed for the good of the marriage.

Certainly, there will be repentance and forgiveness as we live in such an intimate relationship as marriage.  No other person may ever see us so clearly as when we live in marriage.  And, we will likely have to forgive much of what we see as we allow each other to repent and progress.  How grateful we should be for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Law of Chastity is central to marriage.  The law, though, is much more than, "Thou shalt not commit adultery."  Chastity involves a committed, loyal, loving relationship between a man and a woman.  Living the law of Chastity brings children, service, sacrifice and experiential learning of Jesus Christ.  We learn to use creative power in the service of other of God's children.  We learn what it is like to love unconditionally, an still be rejected or mistreated.  We learn the power of repentance and forgiveness.  Chastity is essential to learning of God.

Finally, we must become consecrated in our marriage.  We must be willing to be as committed to the success of our marriage as God is.  Our promise must be as reliable as God's promise.  There must be no doubt that we will give all that we have to the success of our marriage.

When we keep the covenants made in the house of the Lord we keep our part of a covenant relationship between a husband, wife and God.  When we have proved that we will keep those covenants no matter what happens, then the Holy Spirit of Promise makes the promise, given by priesthood authority by a servant of God in the temple, into reality.

As President Monson said, "Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another."  And, “Choose your love; love your choice.”  The scriptures, the teachings of the prophets, and the temple show the way to trust God's promise that a marriage can be eternal.